Review of "The Love Languages of God"

The Love Languages of God

By Gary Chapman

Reviewed by Pat Beaty

            According to Dr. Chapman, a marriage and family counselor for more than thirty years, there are five love languages with which people express and receive love.  They are:  quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  He explains that love is not a solo experience; it requires both a lover and a responder.  He says that each of us has a primary love language and when we listen to God in our “heart language”, we will experience his love most intimately.  He goes on to say that each person has a different love language and if you don’t speak the person you love’s primary love language, the person will not feel loved by you.  The key is learning each person’s love language and speaking it regularly.

In like fashion, we need to establish a “love connection” with God.  When we learn to know and love him, we will have made the “love connection”, according to the author. Although there are many dialects according to Dr. Chapman, there are only five basic languages and each person speaks only one primary language.  In other words, only one speaks more emotionally to us than the other four.  A brief explanation of each love language follows. 

Words of affirmation:  In this love language, according to the author, “using words to affirm the other person is a key way to express love.”  For instance, “You look nice in that outfit…you did a good job with the work you attempted…thanks for doing this, that or the other…you have our appreciation for doing whatever.”  These are just a few examples of the thousands of ways to express affirmation.  To people for whom this love language is primary, these words are very welcome.

Quality time:  In the words of the author, “Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention.”  It is not what you do but the time you have together.  “When you give someone quality time, you are giving him or her a part of your life.

Gifts:  This language speaks for itself.  For some people nothing makes them feel more loved than receiving a gift.  This is their primary love language.

Acts of Service:  This language is also self-explanatory.  Doing things you know someone would like you to is an expression of love.  Acts of service can be any number of tings.  The person who speaks this language is always looking for things he can do for others.

Physical Touch: Long before a child knows the meaning of love, he feels loved by physical touch.  Hugging and kissing a six year old child as he leaves for school is a way of filling the child's "love tank" according to the author.

            The author feels that the love languages observed in human relationships are a reflection of divine love and that all five languages are expressed in the character and nature of our creator.

            Throughout this book, Dr. Chapman uses examples from his own counseling experience to further explain the concepts of the languages and this makes the reading of this work even more interesting.  I highly recommend this book.